Honesty is Always the Best Policy

Honesty can be a very tricky thing sometimes. It can be the breaking point, or it can be your saving grace. For me I have a problem being honest when confronted about my addiction. I don't know why this is exactly, but I think that it has become part of the addiction that I am going through. Relapse is preventable but very difficult to deal with. Many people who have not gone through addiction will look at you and say "why can't you just stop what you are doing?" "Don't you have any control?" The problem is that addiction, whether barely started or long-time user, is now hard wired into your brain. It's like a freeway with one off ramp and tens of millions of on-ramps. One way to help with relapse is to remember H.A.L.T.: Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. When you're in a position where one of these four situations can come up, stop, relocate, and do something. If you do get into one of these situations this is a point where you need to go to your support (people you closely trust) and be very truthful about what is happening. They are going to ask you questions and it will seem like they are judging, but they are not. They are trying to get all the information they can so that they can better help you. Be patient and completely honest with them because when you are honest with them you can start being honest with yourself about what is really going on. Addiction is a way to cover up what you have going on in your own life.It's a way to suppress what ever pain you may be going through.  When I started my porn addiction I was twelve. It started out as curiosity, but then it led to me using it because I was feeling lonely or bored. My mom had just had twin girls, and we were always taking people into our house. For some reason I felt like I just got lost in the mix, and if I didn't have a girlfriend at the time to make me feel loved I turned to porn. It has been a long road to get where I am, and it is still a long road yet. I have relapsed, and I have lied about my relapse, and when I do lie it tends to make the situation ten times worse. I lie because I have been lying to myself for eleven years now, and once you create a habit it is that much worse to break it. Honesty is not easy, but with the right support it doesn't have to be avoided. No matter what you need to be honest with yourself. That is key. It is the hardest thing you will EVER have to go through in your addiction, but once you do you can be honest with the people you love most.